The Commies: 2012 Description of Awards

2012’s 2011 Game of the Year

A video game released in 2011 that we either just got around to playing this year or felt was compelling enough to return to time and time again despite all the new, fancy games to distract us.

2012’s 2011 Album of the Year
It came out in 2011, but for whatever reason, this album had us spinning it (translation 4 da kidz: pressing play on our iPhones) long into the new year.

2012’s 2011 TV Show of the Year
Maybe we caught up with it late, or maybe we found ourselves quickly rewatching it. Whatever the reason, this show stuck with us into 2012.

2012’s 2011 Film of the Year
It could be that those damn socialists didn’t wide release the film. Perhaps we were just trying to ignore the hype cycle and wait to approach it. Either way, this film stands with the best.

Best New TV Show
Put all other debuts to shame and reminded us why getting a great new show can be so damn thrilling.

Best TV Character
Funny or serious, this character elevates the shit out of the show surrounding him or her.

Best Film Soundtrack/Score
Don’t ever overlook the importance of a good score.

Best Game Soundtrack/Score
The music of video games has come a long way in the past 30 years, and this award celebrates the ones that are still memorable as ever.

Best Actress in a TV Show
Pretty self-explanatory, don’t you think? 

Best Actor in a TV Show
See above.

Best Actress in a Film
And, yeah, see above above.

Best Actor in a Film
Really? C’mon.

Book of the Year
You know, there really are all sorts of other things I should be doing rather than writing these right now.

Album of the Year
Which you shouldn’t take for complaining.

Game of the Year
I just really hope you’ve come to appreciate everything, uh, I’m doing for you.

Episode of the Year
Because it’s not always easy, you know. I hope you realize that. Day in and day out, trying to upset people was quite difficult.

TV Show of the Year
Though, we managed to work all that out, huh? Probably for the best really.

Film of the Year
If it’s not painfully obvious, I’m mostly trying to fill space right now because, honestly, if you don’t understand what this group of awards are, you probably shouldn’t be voting. Anyways…

The SIIIIIIIIIIIMS! Award for Most Clueless Reviewer
Maybe he or she just dropped some pills in the jellybeans, but this award is for the reviewer who just doesn’t understand what the hell he/she’s supposed to be reviewing.

Best Film Review
Moving, insightful or hilarious, this award is for the film review that set itself apart from the rest.

Best TV Club Reviews
Some TV Club reviews are a great way to unpack a complex episode. Others are fantastic for remembering the highlights. This award is for the review that has become a necessary supplement to our weekly viewings.

Most Insane “For Our Consideration”
Let’s be honest: these are usually terrible. No matter how bad they get, though, there’s always one that we can single out as the most laughably incomprehensible.

Best Newswire
Promising to be one of the most contentious awards, this award tries to pick out the best work amongst the God-forged prose of  a Sean O’Neal (as seen in Clarissa Explains It All)

Best Evidence for Todd VanderWerff’s Slipping Hold on Sanity
Poor Todd reviews lots of shitty television (some of it he even tries to argue is good!). This award commends his bravery by highlighting the article or review that best exemplifies why it’s costing him his life.

Best Use of the Big Butt Book
Always subtle, always teasing. The Big Butt Book surprises us at every opportunity, raising something in all of us. We salute its use and choose to recognize its many, many talents.

Best New Feature
A feature on the AV Club that was added in 2012 and, frankly, we couldn’t dream of living without.

Yummies Gameological Society “The Digest”
John Teti eats a lot of things. This award is for the one we found the most appetizing. 

Best Feature
Without this feature, the AV Club just wouldn’t be the same.

Most Social Writer
Not every writer is as willing to get down into the huddles of the masses and start slinging shit with the rest of us (RIP Leonard Pierce, you’re with the other blogs now, already complaining about all the winners). We want to recognize the one that at least makes it seem like he or she doesn’t mind hanging out with the rest of us.

Most Improved Writer
Maybe the writer was giving SIIIIIIIIIIIIMS a run for his money or perhaps he/she just didn’t have a feature yet where the ol’ legs could be stretched. This award is for the writer who really stepped up to bat in 2012.

Article of the Year
It could be a review, a part of a feature, or a newswire, but when we tell the uninitiated  about the intelligent and hilarious way the AV Club can dissect pop culture, this is the article we point to shortly before chanting “Gooble Gobble, we accept her.”

AV Club Section of the Year
Games, film, tv, music. Lots of things are covered on the AV Club. Here we recognize the section that stood above the rest in 2012.

AV Club Writer of the Year
Lo, the Lord breathed into the lands and a legion of writers took root in the soil of the Earth. There they battled, felling one another with insight, irony and unmatched syntax. When all the bodies were burnt and the children of our Lord moved onward, this is the lone warrior remained.

The AT&T of Commenters
Look, we’re not trying to say you’re the worst. Just that you’re the opposite of Batman or, you know, Britta everything at every turn. Just fucking step it up and stop being such a terrible commenter. We’re just trying to say that we know you can do better so stop dicking around already.

“The Gerbile:” Gimmick Account That Should Really Just Stop
No, but for real, we know you’re giggling to yourself as you hit submit, but your character is bad and you should feel bad.

Most Flaggable Comment
A comment that should have gotten deleted (seriously mods, you delete the most random shit. Scrawler? REALLY?), but for some reason has scraped by, becoming an skid mark on our website.

Most Tolerable Tolerability Index Thread
Let’s face it: The Office still sucks, the Tolerability Index is a goddamn joke and everyone you’ve ever loved, including yourself, will die someday until even the most lasting contribution you’ve made to the world has been eroded away by the steady and unforgiving onward march of time. Cheers to crazy numerous open threads that have popped up to make things just a little bit better. This is our favorite.

Meme of the Year
DAWES. Where’s Firefly? When you someone you get the idea.

Best Username/Avatar
Some people thought much harder than the rest of us about syncing up their usernames and avatars. Let’s make them feel like that meaningless waste of time was actually worth it. Kidding. You guys are way wittier than I am. This one is the best.

Favorite Gimmick/Character Account
Look, we know you’re really not Gordon Cole, Cookie Monster, Billy Corgan, or the Taco Bell bell, but god damn it, this one makes us most want to believe.

The E. Buzz Miller Kind Commenter Award
We can’t all be rapidly witty or good looking ones, but some commenters are even better than that: they’re the AV Club good citizens. This award highlights the commenter that always seems to be there for someone and is just a damn delight to have on the boards.

The Biastoic Overly Informative Commenter Award
We’re not necessarily saying it’s a bad thing. We’re just saying that we know a lot about you. Like way more than we ever thought we would.

Most Improved Commenter
Maybe you’ve been a real shithead in the past or maybe you’ve really started contributing something to the conversation. Either way, we think you’ve done a hell of a job in 2012.

Best Comment – Comedy/Musical
Nothing’s worse than having to awkwardly explain to a coworker that you’re laughing to yourself because of something a friend from the internet you’ve never met wrote something on this site that you refresh about every 60 seconds. This is the comment that made us have to do that.

Best Comment – Drama
Sometimes the AV Club comment section is littered with OF COCKS, CancerAIDS, lucid descriptions of your mother’s sexual prowess (or lack thereof), and farts. Once in a while, though, like a penguin breaking free of its group, reckless and lost, troubled with unknown emotion, waddling forever into the great unknown where only death and disappointment lie waiting to ensnare and destroy its very soul, a commenter will write something beautiful, intelligent, and endearing. Let’s celebrate that.

Commenter of the Year
Contrary to what the ego-inflated writers will have you believe, blogs live or die by the strength of their communities. Have you ever googled and stumbled across a blog where someone has no comments, and you slowly realize that they’ve been blogging for over four years to nothing but the void, desperately hoping to eek out some kind of following or recognition on a forgotten ghetto of the internet where nothing but a hollow struggle can exist? This is the commenter that keeps the AV Club from being that. The one that’s funny, smart, kind, and everything in between. The commenter that, frankly, we just worry is one day going to up and leave the AV Club and make everything and everyone else the shittier for it.

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